Happiness is Now

What does it mean to be happy? 

This question has been hunting me for a while. “Happy” and the necessity to experience it, show it, and enjoy it. 

I consider myself a joyful person; I like my smile and imagine it can make other people forget their troubles. 

But is being smiley and joyful mean you’re happy? 

I don’t think so. 

If you’re reading this, you might already know some of the things I’ve experienced. Not my happiest moments, but being on the other side and “cured” makes me happy. However, I feel like I need to keep this happiness at all costs. I don’t let myself feel unhappy, miserable, sad. The shadow of depression and my experiences still hunt me. In my mind, being happy means falling back into that darkness that was so hard to get out of. 

Yet, the more I experience new things in my life, the more I let myself feel. 

I’ve come to understand that happiness is a bit of a curve, not a straight vertical boring line. 

For the last few months, I have been a bit lost. There were many transitions in my life; sometimes, I felt alone going through them, and being alone, I thought I was unhappy. I felt I needed that happiness factor to solve all my problems. But today, I realize that it’s not true. 

We as humans are always looking for what will make us happy, always forgetting to live the present moment, enjoy our life and what we are going through. Not think about where you are going or where you come from. One of the keys to my happiness, I’ve realized, is to enjoy, to be present. Sometimes, trying to find happiness makes you unhappy. It takes away too much energy from the light you have within. 

I always use myself as an example because I know that I’m not the only one that feels this way. I know that it can be tricky and scary to look for that happiness that everyone seems to enjoy. 

But guess what? As happy as they seem, almost everyone you know struggles for that happiness. It is essential to know that you create your own happiness. 

It doesn’t depend on who you love, how you work, who validates you, being fit, rich, or having friends. It depends on you. On your definition of happiness. Of stopping those uncertain thoughts, feeling the moment, and being happy and grateful for your life, your achievements little as you think they might be. 

This can sound a bit cliché, but you are the only person stopping you from being happy. As simple as it sounds. 

Don’t condition your happiness on someone. 

I always thought that being in a relationship, having a job, and creating a legacy meant I would be happy. 

Today, I don’t have a job, I don’t have a legacy, I met someone I like, and I’m still discovering who I am. But I am happy because I can wake up every day, look at the sun, walk, see my friends, breathe clean air, enjoy a glass of wine, write these words, and most of all, share them with you, dear reader. This brings me joy and happiness, but it doesn’t need to be your recipe. Look for your own, enjoy your life, be yourself. 

If you’ve made it all the way to here, I want to know:

Are you a little bit happier? 

Love

L