Stop Second-Guessing Yourself
For a minute, I thought I was invincible.
That I was the keeper of my own destiny and Lorenza, and only Lorenza could decide how she was feeling.
But lately, I’ve been self-doubting myself so much. Second-guessing every decision I make. In everything: friendship, work, school, love, health.
Why is that? I thought I was a very confident person and that nothing like this could affect me. But so many external factors are affecting my decisions, moods, and life to the point I am on the brink of a burnout.
Guess you thought everything was good? That I was confident, feeling sexy all the time, living my best life? That is not the case; I might show that on social media, but there is more to it. I can’t stress this enough: social media is fake. We show the best part of ourselves, the parts we wish we were living all the time. The happiness, the blissful security, the wonderful life of being abroad, having a job, being in a relationship, having “cool” friends or “cool” trips or “cool” things to do.
But lately, I’ve had so much self-doubt, thinking about all of these things. So I ask myself, have I achieved what I wanted? What made me want this? What made me want to be uncontrollably in love? A super successful businesswoman, the sexiest, curviest girl in my friend group, the most confident bitch in town? What made me want all these things? Do I really want them? Or is there this outside pressure I put on myself that makes me think: “Okay, this is what I need to be successful?”
Not everything in my life is picture-perfect or how I imagined it would be. I haven’t accomplished all the goals I wanted by the end of the year. I’m not in love, I’m not in a successful job position, I’m not confident at 100% with myself, and I’m very confused about what I want to do with this beautiful life. But guess what? I’m not the only one; you’re not the only one. Everyone is going through a phase. A moment of insecurity, of worrying for the future. Will you have a job you like? Will you get married? Will you be successful? Will you lose weight? When will you finally accept yourself?
To all that I say fuck it.
Do what YOU want, not what other people think you should be doing, or what you think your life should be like just because those surrounding you are “successful.” But according to who?
You make your own success, your own happiness.
I am still looking, and no doubt I will find it.
But to you, who is reading this and maybe are insecure about your life, I say: DO IT.
Do it; don’t let that job you like escape you; don’t let the person you like get away from you. Enjoy yourself; come to terms with the best version of yourself. Turn on that burning light inside you. Fight for what you believe in, don’t put pressure on yourself. Everything is going to work out.
Get back to yourself, feel yourself, love and live in the present moment. Be grateful for what you do have.
It is easy to say it, and sometimes I need to write to believe in myself and my decisions. But this is my way to cope, to understand what is happening in my life. To process all the shit that is going on. It might not be for everyone, but this is what I want to do to help you in your path, to help you see that you are not alone.
We all have a way to fight those insecurities and anxieties.
What is yours? And, how can I help?
With all the love you deserve,
L