From 26, with Love

26

One year ago, on my birthday, I wrote about how blessed I felt by turning 25. Little did I know, I was about to enter a quarter-life crisis that ultimately led me to the best six months of my life.

When I turned 25, I was scared; I had no plans in life; I had just broken up with my boyfriend, and unaware of it, I was getting a bit depressed for many reasons. But then I spent some incredible moments, from having a fling in Barcelona which I will never forget, to getting to know myself more through someone else, to realizing that a minor depression was surging. 

Yes, I spent a few months feeling sad and sorry for my situation. However, I kept asking myself two questions that haunted me every day. The first one: what do I want to do? Followed by: who do I want to be? The impossible answers to those questions led me to a dark and unknown path in which I could not see the light. 

I was lost in my head and confused about my life, my heart, and my profession. I began to second doubt every decision, to the point I thought I had my heart broken by a man 11 years older than me. 

Today, turning 26, I realize all that had to happen because I couldn’t be more honest when I say: that I have never known this happiness in my time on earth.

In the second part of my 25s, I learned so much. Much more than what I thought was possible. 

In my 25s, I learned that happiness doesn’t come from other people but from yourself. That judgment is not made against you but by people that feel so insecure or different; they don’t know how else to look at you. 

So don’t let their judgment become yours.

I also learned that what I thought was a heartbreak was only a crush gone wrong and that if it weren’t for that, I wouldn’t have looked at myself when I needed to. Learning this led me to look at myself, to stop thinking about what others wanted to see in me, and start seeing what I wanted to be.

In my 25s, I learned how to be with myself, let some friendships go, and let others come into my life. I discovered that happiness is what you make, not what others think of it. I learned how to lead a healthier lifestyle and how meditation is a form of self-love.

In my 25s, I learned that having a romantic partner is not necessary to be validated by society, that being alone can sometimes lead to the outmost form of love: your own.

In my 25s, I learned that leaving my insecurities behind brought me many unique experiences. Like bringing new people into my life by going to a brunch with friends and meeting a wonderful new friend like Lia. Or stopping at the dog park and making friends with wonderful people.

In my 25s, I learned the value of friendship, of brotherhood. I realized that having friends like Louis, Alex, and Almu in my life, made my days better. And that no matter where I go, they will be unforgettable. I learned that some friends come and go, but the important ones always stay along.

In my 25s, I recovered many friendships and learned how to ask for forgiveness. My three best friends and sisters taught me the importance of being there when a friend needs you.

In my 25s, I learned that life moves fast and that if you don’t live in the moment, it will pass you like a shooting star. Every moment counts, even the sad ones, because it is of those moments we are made of. Moments of tears, laughter, incertitude, love, dance, fights, hugs, joy, confusion, nostalgia, anger, solitude, and friendship. Those little moments fill you with inexplicable joy.

In my 25s, I learned what I was put in this life to do. And without knowing it, I got the job of my dreams.

In my 25s, I became whole.

And today, turning 26, I can say thank you.

Thank you for all the people in my life. For my family: the ones I was born with and the ones I chose. Thank you for Catalino. 

Thank you for my friends; life would be half as fun and adventurous without them.

But most of all, thank you, dear reader. For without you, writing this would not feel as good.

Thank you,

From 26 with love,

L