what makes Me feel sexy?

by Isa Salazar

I sometimes feel like certain words have been taken from me; sexy is one of them. I don't want to exclude women's points of view, but I also feel it is essential to mention it; after all, I am one. I feel like women have been victims of the word "sexy" in an objectifying manner precisely because we've been taught that it's not up to us to decide what to do with it. 

A sexy person is, by definition is, "someone who is sexually and physically attractive." As a woman in this society, the first adjective is something we're reprimanded for, and the second one is expected from us. Now you see what I mean when I say that certain words feel as if they've been snatched from my grasp? 

I'm 22 years old and still a lifetime away from knowing all that I possibly can. Still, one of the few things I do know for sure is that there's nothing more liberating than taking back and giving your own meaning to certain words, be it adjectives, nouns or verbs. 

So, claiming back the word sexy and addressing the original question, what makes me feel sexy? 

I guess my most straightforward answer would be the freedom to choose with security to do whatever I want to do, not needing to answer to anyone but myself. Having the freedom to choose with security to change my mind or kiss the boy I want to. To dress in a suit or in a mini skirt; to cultivate my brain. To separate love from lust; to expand my horizons; to want to look on the inside; to know my body and to appreciate it; to walk the streets aimlessly; to want to stay home; to mold the definition of pleasure; to dance when nobody and as if nobody is watching. 

Notice how I'm not narrowing the definition to sexual or physical traits? That's because the word now belongs to me; it no longer objectifies me but rather frees me. 

I could see how this could be controversial; some people can allude to the fact that it's an adjective used in a complementing way. But I've understood that it's the right of the person being described by it to see it that way. 

So I asked my closest girlfriends what makes them feel sexy, in need to go beyond the assignment of just answering for myself. The answers I received were beautiful, heartwarming, and broad; the list included the night, the ocean, dancing, a tan, a good conversation, driving, red nails, dressing in all black, laughing, flowers, lingerie, bodies of water, eye contact, self-confidence, walking the streets alone and feeling safe, moonlight and a new haircut. Call me crazy: but I think there's nothing sexier than a group of girls redefining a word and broadening its meaning. To fit into every aspect of their life and do it merely for their own enjoyment. 

(Photo by rhea_thelabel and wutuwan)